We are often so caught up in our search for perfection that it can be difficult to break free and become our authentic selves. We let shame and fear of judgment run our parts of our lives and we do not even realize that it is happening. Do you stay home from an event because you have nothing to wear? Go buy something new that makes you feel confident. Are you not going to the pool for fear of someone judging your body? Wear that swimsuit proud and know that its their problem if they see something they don't like. Afraid to have someone into your house because it doesn't look like a show home... trust me, they care less then you think. We spend so much time trying to fit into the image of perfection that we have created for ourselves, that we begin to feel false, frustrated and dishonest. To cope, we hide behind a mask of social conformity and judge others according to our idea of perfection. But there is a way out of this cycle.
 
The Fear Behind Perfectionism
Death is not our biggest fear; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be fully alive and fully ourselves. People are often more afraid of public speaking then they are of death. Why you might ask? It is the fear of being seen, of being judged. We try so hard to meet everyone’s expectations by creating an image of perfection that we think we should live up too, but this image is not real, and no matter how hard we try, we will never meet the standard of “perfection” that has been set before us. When this happens, it can cause us to reject ourselves because we do not match our own expectations. By trying so desperately to create an ideal version of ourselves, all we end up doing is creating more pain and suffering than necessary.
 
 Breaking away from your mask of perfection will allow you to step into your true power - living authentically with courage and confidence. It’s time for us all recognize the beauty within each one of us regardless if it does or does not match someone else's idea of “perfection." This process starts when you let go by being kinder towards yourself, finding self-compassion, treating yourself as your best friend, allowing yourself grace during mistakes instead of beating yourself up over them! Letting go also means acknowledging your fears instead of running away from them or pretending they don't exist. You must accept them as part of who you are in order to move forward with a life that is being fully lived.
 
When you make the decision to start living authentically with courage and confidence, you will find freedom in knowing that being imperfect is perfectly okay - because nobody can ever reach the unattainable goal or standard set by society anyway! Focus on being content with who you are – flaws included! This will lead you on a journey towards self-discovery where you find acceptance within yourself rather than searching outside yourself for approval from others or something else entirely. It’s ultimately about discovering what brings YOU joy rather than trying desperately adhering to a certain lifestyle or belief system.
 
Release the fear of judgement and banish perfectionism through little steps, you can start by doing something that scares you just a little bit. Wear a bathing suit, go to a yoga class, attend a women's circle, go live on Facebook, start a new hobby, there is so much freedom in stepping into who you are and what you are becoming! There is so much more to you then the idea of the "perfect" you, let your unique light shine through and those who are meant to see it, will see it.

For more information about self compassion I recommend visiting Kristin Neff's website www.self-compassion.org 
This post was inspired by a book I read called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, I highly recommend reading it.

The other day I received a message on Facebook and I wanted to talk about it here because I think that it is something important to address. 

The reasons I want to talk about it are:

1. It made me realize that my nervous system is healing because it did not activate me the way that it used to. 

2. Compassion, curiosity and healing of old wounds make the world a much better place to be.

3. Assuming the best of people and not the worst is one of the best gifts that you can give yourself. 

4. Education and representation are important.

5. We are worthy of all the good things. 

With these things in mind, please here my story.

A woman who has never been to the studio reached out with a message that said:

Why are your women so obese? (speaking about a picture of me doing yoga in an ad)
That cannot be healthy!
Please do not be offended by my question.
I ask with all sincerity. 

Cue deep breath... 

There are a few choice words that ran through my mind, but I decided to give the woman the benefit of the doubt, I mean she asked me not to be offended... 

I replied " There are many reasons that people are overweight. It can have to do with mental health, trauma, lack of resources for nutrition education, chronic dieting, poor eating habits growing up, genetics, hormonal disorders, the list goes on and on. We provide a non judgmental space for people of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds and abilities to come together to heal their mind, body and souls, whatever that means to them. It is important to have inclusive spaces for all people."

She replied "Thank you"

But I decided that I did not what to leave it at that. I wanted more, so I set my fear aside and I asked " What compelled you to ask the question?"

Her reply: I didn't think an obese person could do yoga! I am obviously mistaken. Good wishes to you and your success. 

My reply: This is exactly why we created Above Average Wellness. 

Conversation over.

I felt good leaving the conversation, she felt good leaving the conversation and I hope that the 5 minutes that we had the conversation changed her mind about what she thinks people with extra weight can and can not do and I hope that that changes someone's life.

But... this got me thinking? What are all the things that we think we can not do because society has decided we can't or we shouldn't because we don't look like the other people doing it on Instagram?

I could go on about this forever, but instead I am going to end it here with this simple truth. YOU reading this blog post... are worthy and deserving of everything that you want to do, experience, have and participate in. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise, do not let any belief system tell you otherwise and do not let the old wounds and stories tell you otherwise. You belong, there is no need to continue to try to fit in. 

I love you and you are welcome here at Above Average Wellness. 

​Renowned psychologist Carl Jung once remarked, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." These words encapsulate the essence of shadow work—a journey into the concealed realms of our psyche.
 
At its core, shadow work involves unraveling the mysteries of our inner landscape. The shadow, a repository of our subconscious, holds the unacknowledged facets of our being. It encapsulates the unexplored territories within us—the parts we repress, reject, or find challenging to accept.
 
Think of the shadow as the uncharted wilderness of the mind—an expanse housing not just our deepest fears and wounds, but also our unexpressed potential and hidden desires. Engaging with the shadow means confronting the unknown within us—a realm that often triggers instinctive fear.
 
By delving into this hidden realm, we transition from the realm of the unconscious to a space of self-awareness. The process involves shedding light on the obscured aspects of our being, acknowledging and integrating them into our conscious awareness.
 
But the shadow isn't solely a repository of darkness. It houses our untapped potential, dormant power, and unexpressed creativity. Engaging in shadow work is akin to mining the gold within—liberating ourselves from the burdens that hinder our journey towards self-actualization.
 
This transformative journey offers a multitude of rewards—greater self-acceptance, deeper connections, heightened creativity, and a more profound relationship with life itself. It's an expedition towards embracing the brilliance that lies within the depths of our being.
 
The keys to healing, liberation, and self-realization are within us. Shadow work serves as a guiding light—a companion on our quest to unlock the doors to our innermost treasures.
 
Should you decide to take a journey into the shadows, let it be one of discovery, transformation, and empowerment—a voyage that allows us to embrace the brilliance within the depths of our being.
 
If you want to experience shadow work in a group setting, you may want to try attending one of our women's circles as we often cover many aspects of shadow work within them.

A great book that I love about Shadow Work is Shadow Work by Danielle Massi, you can purchase it on Amazon by clicking here. I do receive a small commission if you purchase it but it is an excellent book with a ton of great resources!

Grief, one of the most confusing emotions that we experience. When we are in the thick of it, we feel that we are completely alone and that no one can possibly understand how we feel. Although there is some truth to that, the other truth is that 100% of people on the planet are grievers. Everyone will experience grief in their lifetime whether it be from the death of a loved one, a relationship ending, a chronic illness, moving, losing a job, or even just changing jobs.  All of these things can create the emotion of grief and most of us don't even know what is happening while we are in it. 

In 2010 I was let go from a job without cause. It was devastating to me. I had never been fired before and they didn't tell me why I was being let go, just that I wasn't a good fit. What really happened is that someone else who was better friends with management wanted my job, so they let me go and gave it to her. Yes, this was wrongful termination, yes this company faced several wrongful termination lawsuits that year but I did not have it in me to make a claim. Why? You might ask, I was in the throws of grief and I had no idea that I was and it sent me into a deep depression. 

I was grieving, I was depressed and everyone around me just thought I was being lazy. The reality was that my world was shattered and I didn't even know it. Grief can make us behave in strange ways and have strange reactions. I say strange not meaning weird, I mean it as out of the ordinary. It can cause us to lose focus, motivation, drive, it can cause sleep disturbances, eating disturbances, it can cause you to walk from room to room of your house not remembering why you are there, and it can cause anxiety and depression.

There is a lot of people out there whos depression and anxiety are a result of unresolved grief, from personal experience I can say that this grief experience totally changed who I was. Plus, because it was not recognized as grief no one asked me if I was ok, people just kept asking me when I was going to look for another job. 

In the end, I ended up coming out of it, but it took me almost a year to start feeling better. Then, 11 years later my Dad died and this grief experience took me right over the edge. I cried so much that I got a horrible rash on my face, I only worked because I had to and I didn't even know who I was anymore. I began to experience suicidal thoughts and life felt really pointless. Luckily, I had some good friends who recognized that I was not doing well and told me that I should go to therapy. When I met this therapist for the first time she asked the age old question " What brings you here?" I replied, "My Dad died and I have never experienced grief before and I do not know what to do with it. She replied " Oh, you have experienced so much grief before, its not that you don't know what it is, it is that this is the grief experience that broke the camels back." 

I was confused by this, I even said " NO, I'm serious, life has been pretty good up until now, I don't know what grief is or what to do with it"

Then she started walking me back through my life. She asked me if I had ever moved, if I had had a pet or relative die, if I had watched my parents lose people, if I had changed schools, business losses, job losses, relationships that had ended, then she asked me how the pandemic had affected me and my husband and my business. I instantly broke into uncontrollable tears... life had not been good or easy up until my Dad died, I just didn't realize that I was suffering and just stuffing my feelings and pushing through. 

I continued with therapy and still see a therapist today, I suffer with chronic low level depression but I manage it through daily practices such as meditation, yoga, journaling and personal growth work, I even took an anti-depressant for a short while when things were really bad. I tell you this to normalize mental health and to normalize seeking help with it!

About 5 months into my therapy journey a friend reached out to me and told me about a program called Grief Recovery. I was skeptical, but after a conversation with my husband I decided to take the training to heal parts of my own grief. Little did I know that it wouldn't just heal my own grief; it would ignite a fire within me to share this invaluable resource with others. Leading those sessions isn't easy, but witnessing transformations unfold is profoundly fulfilling. 

The reason that I think this program is so important is because no one talks about grief. If you take the program, you not only get to heal your own grief, but you learn how to support others in their walk with grief and you learn real tangible tools to support friends and family in active grief.

If you would like more information read the Grief Recovery Handbook or check out their website at https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com. I still run sessions at the studio and may have one starting soon, check out or website or give us a call.

The biggest message I would like to highlight here is that you are not alone, please reach out for support when you need it. You are worthy of support and help and there is no shame in getting it.


I have also created a 2 page downloadable handout that has some tools that can help with some relief. Click below to get access right away. 
​
Sending you so much love on your walk through this challenging human experience. Please remember that you are not alone. ​

The Canada Wide Suicide Hotline is 988, it is available 24/7.
Here is a website with a list of resources province by province. 

If you are in need of mental health support here are the resources if you are in Alberta. 

Need immediate help? 24/7
If this is an emergency, call 911, or:
Go to the nearest emergency room.
Need someone to talk to? 24/7
Addiction Helpline
Call 1-866-332-2322. Translation services are available.
Mental Health Helpline
Call 1-877-303-2642. Translation services are available.
Health Link
Call 811 to speak with a Registered Nurse about your health concerns.

Here is also a link to other great resources in Alberta if you are going through a challenging time :https://www.albertahealthservices.ca/amh/page16759.aspx​
​

As we head into our 9th year in business I want to tell the storty of the evolution of Above Average Wellness. It wasn't an easy road, but it was totally worth it!

Let me take you through the remarkable saga of Above Average Wellness—a journey that's been nothing short of transformative for both me and the community.

It all began with Trista's mom nudging her to go to yoga. It took literal years but she finally stepped onto the mat and found comfort but also noticed the lack of options catering to diverse body needs. Fueled by this realization, she embarked on a mission.

Determined to bridge this gap, Trista made a bold decision—to create a haven for yoga enthusiasts. The journey wasn't solitary; it was a collaborative effort. An incredible team joined forces, setting the foundation for what would become a thriving community.

Yet, despite the growth and vibrant classes, something felt missing. It was at a women's circle that Trista discovered the absent element—community. This revelation ignited a series of workshops, circles, and retreats, fostering connections that went beyond yoga poses and breathwork.

In 2018, the studio expanded its offerings with the introduction of the 200hr All Bodies Yoga Training—a pivotal moment that embraced inclusivity and diversity in yoga practices.

However, as plans were set for a grand opening in April 2020, the unforeseen struck—COVID-19. The setback was profound, but amidst the uncertainty, the team pivoted, shifting operations online, navigating uncharted territory while staying connected to the loyal community.

Adversity sparked innovation. Crystal sales, workshops, and virtual engagement initiatives kept the studio alive during a dark time. As the community continued to show unparalleled support, the studio evolved, embracing a diverse array of offerings beyond traditional yoga classes.

Despite the challenges and the ever-changing landscape, Above Average Wellness persisted. With the dawn of recovery in 2022, a sense of normalcy returned, and the studio emerged as a multifaceted hub—a place not just for yoga but a sanctuary for self-care, learning, and camaraderie.

In the summer of 2023, Trista's vision expanded once more. Self Love Summer was created and she begin to offer Online classes aiming to reach a wider audience—an endeavor met with enthusiasm.

Finally, in September 2023, as registrations for in-person classes regained momentum, it felt like a reconnection with the heart of what Above Average Wellness stands for—a thriving community.

Today, in January 2024, we stand as a testament to resilience and adaptability. Our space encompasses everything from diverse classes, retreats, art journaling, women's circles, metaphysical workshops, and more. Our storefront, adorned with everything from crystals to supplements, serves as a hub for holistic wellness. One-on-one treatments and engaging events fill our calendar, ensuring a vibrant and inclusive community.

None of this journey was a solitary effort. It was built on the backbone of incredible friendships, dedicated coworkers, and the unwavering support of an amazing community. Your continual encouragement, inspiration, and unwavering support are the very soul of Above Average Wellness. From the depths of my heart, I extend heartfelt gratitude for being an indispensable part of this incredible journey. I can not wait to see what 2024 has in store for all of us!

Love you all,
Trista